Regret
by Tsurai Shi
Summary: L reflects on his friendship with Raito. Twoshot
1. Whisper of Regret

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. Jeez! I've only read the first four books!

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I'm lying on the cold wooden floor, my every breath came in wheezing and gasping. The pain in my chest intensified every second, like a caged animal trying to break free….

I could recall clearly the first day I met Raito. He sat exactly two rows in front of me, right where I planned. I watched his movements. Every little twitch was carefully noted and stowed away for later reference, like the way he leaned on one hand as he read, or the way his fingers twitched every time he though about the answer to a question. And when he finally turned and saw me, I felt the air catch in my throat as I met his eyes, brown and cold as chips of ice.

In the restaurant, I was impressed by his reasoning abilities. I realized then how alike we were, he and I. Then Yagami Soichiro had a heart attack, and Raito agreed to help us with the investigation. So many things happened afterwards. With the emergence of the Second Kira, Raito was put under even further suspicion of being the First. But I didn't want him to be Kira. I could not help but admit to him, that Raito was my first friend.

My only friend.

I almost wish it could have stayed that way, that I had never found out, and we could still be friends.

And in those moments before my heart ceased it's struggle, the whisper of regret in his eyes told me he did too.

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R&R…Should I continue?


	2. Maybe a Mistake

-1Raito never made mistakes. That was a given. It was always perfect grades, perfect family, perfect girlfriends, perfect, boring life.

It was just the way it was…until he found the Death Note. Then he was even better. He could become a god. A god of a new world, without crime or hate, a ruler under which peace would prosper. And all he had to do was kill the criminals.

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From the first time he had seen Ryuuzaki, he knew that he was important, somehow. Raito didn't believe in fate, but something told him they had a connection…

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Raito awoke to darkness. This in itself, wasn't unusual. He'd been keeping odd hours in the search for Kira, determined to prove to Ryuuzaki that his suspicion was unfounded. He sighed and rolled over, about to drop back to sleep, when he heard what had awoken him. A quiet whimper, just barely heard over the rattle of the chain attached to him, had him sitting up again.

After the first three consecutive nights on the investigation without sleep, he had finally convinced Ryuuzaki to actually use the beds set up for them. That night he had discovered why L was an insomniac.

Raito rose quietly, but for the clank of the chain as the person on the other end tugged on it. He took the small step between the beds, stopping by the other. In the small amount of moonlight coming through the window, he could make out tear tracks on the man's face as he tossed and turned. Raito paused, then reached out with uncommon gentleness and brushed them away, smoothing his hair in the same motion. The sounds stopped, and withdrew the hand.

"Raito-kun. Did I wake you?" Ryuuzaki looked away. Raito felt his eyebrows knit themselves into a frown.

"Don't worry about it…Another nightmare?"

"Hai. Gomen…" In the nights that this had happened, Raito still couldn't get used to Ryuuzaki, who was usually unabashed at his strangeness, apologizing and looking ashamed.

"Don't apologize, it's not your fault Ryuuzaki." he paused, then said "Do you need me to stay with you?"

Ryuuzaki turned to him, wide-eyed, then a faint smile crossed his face. "Arigato, Raito-kun." Raito took this as an invitation, and slipped under the covers. He didn't know why he was doing this, but he wanted to offer comfort…and it just felt _right_.

"Oyasumi."

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But all things must come to an end, and they had when Raito regained his memories. And Ryuuzaki's name was revealed, and written without pause into the notebook that cursed all those who touched it.

L had fallen, struggling to bring oxygen to his lungs. He crouched next to him, looking into his…friend's eyes as death swiftly approached.

Raito had always been good at reading people, it was necessary. But he hadn't been expecting the look the other held when their eyes met.

Forgiveness. And acceptance for doing what he had...

And when Ryuuzaki's breathing stopped, and his eyes iced over, Raito had that one forbidden thought.

Maybe…just maybe, the perfect Yagami Raito had made a mistake.

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Owari

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End file.
